Author : Cynthia McKenna
Healthy boundaries are like invisible safety zones that surround each person. Boundaries help us keep ourselves safe, and keep us from doing harm to others. Here are some examples:17-year-old Vicki goes out for pizza with friends. Vicki stops eating when she feels full.Vicki maintains her healthy boundary by listening to what her body wants and needs, without feeling pressured to fit in, and possibly overeat.Annie meets Mario, a new friend, for coffee. Annie and Mario enjoy their conversation, and the time flies by. When they are ready to leave, Annie asks Mario if she can give him a hug.Both Annie and Mario have warm and happy feelings about each other after their conversation. Rather than assuming that it is okay to hug Mario, Annie shows respect for Mario by asking if a hug is okay. Annie protects her own boundary by not forcing a hug when it is not wanted.We are born with our boundaries intact. In normal human development, we learn to distinguish between others, and ourselves, between our feelings and the feelings of others. We learn that we can have thoughts, ideas, dreams, wishes that do not have to be the same as the dreams and wishes of others.These are some of the signs of healthy boundaries:having appropriate trust
deciding whether a potential relationship will be good for you
self-respect – not giving too much in hope that someone will like you
respect for others – not taking advantage of someone's generosity
saying "NO" to gifts, food, touch that you do not want
recognizing that friends and partners are not mind-readersYou can improve your boundaries by paying attention to your actions. Consider your motivation when deciding to do or not to do something. You can learn to have better boundaries for yourself and others. If unhealthy boundaries are really a problem for you, it is a good idea to seek help. A therapist can help you understand how your boundaries became damaged, and provide support as you learn new and healthier ways to interact.© 2006 Cynthia McKenna LPC, NCC - All Rights Reserved Worldwide.Cynthia McKenna LPC, NCC is a therapist and life-coach who helps people have more joy and peace in daily living. Cynthia works with couples and individuals throughout the United States by phone and email. Cynthia also sees c,ients in her Texas Hill Country office. Visit Cynthia McKenna's website http://CynthiaMcKennaCounseling.com.You can schedule a session with Cynthia, sign up for her e-newsletter, get more information, or request a copy of Healthy & Unhealthy Boundaries here:
Contact Cynthia McKenna LPC, NCCCheck out Cynthia McKenna's Blog: CounselingBlog
Keyword : boundary, respect, trust, food issues, guilt, self respect, hugs, eating disorders, cynthia mckenna
สมัครสมาชิก:
ส่งความคิดเห็น (Atom)
ไม่มีความคิดเห็น:
แสดงความคิดเห็น