Author : Sukhbir Singh
People spend their entire lifetime trying to have, do, or be something (sometimes many things) so that they can become happier. They take actions based on their desire for this happiness. Their quest IS for happiness, security, peace, and meaningfulness. This quest has been continued for centuries. Human beings have found a way to explore space and have even landed on the moon.According to many statements and articles in the field of technology, it has been reported that we have become more technologically advanced in the past 50 years (from 1950 to 2000) than we have ever been since the dawn of mankind. There have been gadgets galore, and many promises of a happier life.We have accomplished all of this, but the basic question of happiness has remained unanswered and incomplete. The most pertinent question at the moment is how we, the human species, have achieved so much externally, while remaining incomplete and unfulfilled internally. How come we are ready to create and find solutions for external challenges, while our internal life remains empty and devoid of happiness and meaning? How come all our promises of a happier future have turned into the emptiness that we feel today? The answer to this question lies in our focus. The focus of our species, as a whole, has always been to look outward. We look outward for approval. We look outward to determine our value. We look outward for the next thing that can satisfy our desire. We look outward for that elixir that can solve all of our problems. We simply just look outward and grasp for everything and hope that it would make a difference in the way that we feel.Sometimes, this does work. We do feel satiated and happy. We feel amazing when we get that new job, a raise, the woman or man of our dreams, when we are able to buy that new car that we have always had on our minds. We feel terrific when we have started up a company that was just in our imagination and dreams, when our business that we have started with our own hands is successful and our products are in demand in the marketplace. We feel absolutely incredible when we have put our life back on track. We do feel remarkable when we have received all that we desire. Let me ask you a question. What happens after you receive it? Honestly, I want all the readers of this article to ask and answer themselves this question honestly. What does happen after you receive the things that you want? How long are you happy for? What goes on after that? What happens after you have received that job that you have always wanted? What happens after you have received that raise you have longed for? Are you now always happy?If you have honestly answered the question then your answer might sound something like this: "Well, after I (fill in the blank with the accomplishment of your choice) I was extremely happy. I was so happy and proud of what I had accomplished. The happiness didn't stay for that long though because I got bored of it after a while and decided that I had to do something more challenging." Another typical response might go something like this: "I was so happy with the accomplishment that I partied for a week. However, after I had achieved it, it seemed like there was more to be done. I just couldn't sit on my laurels if I wanted to continue to be happy. I had to do something and fast. So I set another goal that I'm now working to achieve." These are typically the two most common answers and the variation of other answers normally lies within the spectrum between these two. So the happiness that people hope to achieve does come to them but two things are bound to happen:1)The happiness doesn't last long and they are soon on to the next thing that will make them happy and2)They simply get bored of the thing that brought them happiness and the thing that brought them happiness now seems monotonous.If we look at all of our desires that we have had and the accomplishment of them, we will realize that everything has always fallen within these two categories. Whether the objects of the desire are material or emotional (in terms of approval from another person) these are the very two outcomes that normally come out of it. None of the achievement of our desires has sincerely brought us lasting happiness. So what am I saying here? Am I telling you to stop desiring? Am I saying that desire is bad? Am I saying that if you stop desiring you will become happy?No, I'm not doing anything of the kind. In fact, I'd like to tell you that desire is good. There is nothing inherently bad in desire. Most Buddhists at this point might start to disagree with me automatically because it seems that what I am saying is going in direct contrast with what Lord Buddha has said. However, let me tell you that I am not contradicting what Lord Buddha has said. This will get clearer as we go along and you will eventually see that what I am saying is the same thing as what Lord Buddha has said and taught in the teachings of the Four Noble Truths. Before we go further, I would like to ask you to suspend all forms of automatic reactions that are going to come from you. You already have a concept in your mind that says that desire is bad. However, if you look at the way that you are living your life, you will see that desire has played a big role and is still playing a big role in your life. If you don't believe me, then ask yourself this question: "Why am I still working?" Is it for getting something or to avoid something? Realize that desires can be both to receive as well as to avoid.I can desire to be rich and I can desire not to be hated by people. If you look at all kinds of avoiding behavior, you will realize that they are all done in order to get something (the opposite of what they are avoiding). If you are working so that you do not become incompetent, then you desire competency. If you are working in order to make sure that your family survives, then you desire the survival of your family. As you can see, desire is not wrong in and of itself. In reading this article, you also have a desire whether you are aware of it or not. You desire to learn more and understand more. In fact, you desire to get out of suffering.All of the monks that you know have become monks because of the desire to be free from the cycle of Samsara and the desire to liberate others from Samsara. It was the desire to liberate people that enabled Lord Buddha to start teaching. Therefore, I'd like to repeat my point: Desire is not bad in and of itself. Where you are in your life is because of the desires that you have had your entire life. Sometimes your desire is strong enough to compel you to do things that you would not normally have the courage to do. Desire is not bad in and of itself.So far we have spoken about humanity's quest for that elusive gift of permanent happiness. We have discussed how it is not received by getting what we desire. That getting what we desire is not the sweet elixir to all the problems of unhappiness or suffering. We have also tackled the topic of desire and have cleared up our misunderstanding of the inherent negativity of desire. However, we haven't actually gotten to the root of the matter as yet. That was the background needed in order for you to understand what is going to come up next. Desire is not bad or wrong. It is due to desire that you accomplish and achieve all that you want in your life.Suffering is caused when you attach your happiness to the result of a particular desire. We have seen that permanent happiness does not come from the achievement of a desire. Desire is just the function of moving out of homeostasis. Desire is the fuel that is required for you to continue to change, evolve, and grow. However, desire can not and will not get you permanent happiness. To believe that permanent happiness will come from desire and to attach your hopes on getting happiness from the achievement of that desire is an illusion and therefore automatically creates suffering. According to the Teachings of Lord Buddha, suffering is caused by ignorance or wrong understanding. It is our wrong understanding that allows us to believe that the achievement from something alone is able to provide us permanent happiness. The purpose of this article is to make you clear on the fact that desire is not wrong or bad, however, pinning your hopes of permanent happiness on those desires is the most ignorant thing that you can do because you have seen that it has never worked in your entire life. If it has not worked then, how can it work now? It has been said that the meaning of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again while expecting a different result. If you keep on pinning your hopes of permanent happiness on the achievement of your desires, you are no better.So what can we do in order to get permanent happiness? After all, that's what we are supposed to find out in this article right? We were supposed to get the formula, the elixir for permanent happiness in this article. We were supposed to find out what can bring that happiness for us and make us free from suffering. Were you hoping to find happiness from reading this article? Was finding the formula supposed to make you happy? Were you, once again, looking for something outside of yourself to make you happy? If you were, then it's not your fault. You have been doing it for your entire lifetime and it's just your pattern. Start to become aware of this pattern of always looking for happiness somewhere outside your self. The desire itself is not wrong as we have made clearer initially, and I do hope that you have begun to see desire as a way of spurring positive actions.The problem arises only when we attach our happiness to that outcome. I don't know whether you have gotten the subtle hint that I have been giving you throughout this article. If you understand this point, you will realize a more positive way of living or what Lord Buddha would call the Right View. Let's get back to the sentence that is the key of this entire article. This is the key to unlock the source of permanent happiness. Realize that I said "the problem arises only when we attach our happiness to that outcome". The happiness that we seek for was never, is never, and will never be in the thing that we desire or from anything and any person outside of us. Happiness comes from us. It comes from a decision, a choice, to be happy. We have to make that choice. We set up our own situations that will bring out our happiness. We have made the happiness that is within us conditioned and dependent upon an external situation. Clearly, the happiness is within us. It has always been within us. It is a part of who we are. All the parables of the great masters have a story of a prince who got lost and believed that he was a beggar. It was only when they realized and remembered that they were princes that everything changed again. These stories were not told for their entertainment value, they were told in order for us to realize that we are in the very same situation.Happiness is already something within us. We are the owners of it; we have always been. Permanent happiness is nothing more than a right way of seeing something that is already there. We no longer have to throw our happiness onto things and then wait to be happy. We have to realize that when we receive those things, it is us who then decide to become happy. We have strongly been conditioned to believe that happiness comes from the outside and therefore we look for it there. However, the truth is clear and evident that happiness is a choice that we make. We are the lock and the key to our own permanent joy and happiness. It is true that some situations do tend to sap the joy from us and make us sad. There are incidents that are tragic.However, the topic of how to have happiness amidst sadness and tragedy will be reserved for another article as it delves into another issue that is better dealt with at length. The purpose of this article was to make clear the purpose of desire in our lives. To ensure that we know how to be the master of our desires and also that we are the holders of the key to our own happiness. We no longer have to hold back our happiness until we achieve what we want. With this understanding we have opened up the doorway to the possibility of being happy while achieving. It will be less stressful upon you and you will also have more resources of abundant joy serving you in all of your tasks while you are achieving. Happiness is already yours and has always been yours.Now the choice is yours. You can consider this article as just entertainment, or you can use the understanding that you have developed to re-adjust your life and bring it into alignment with happiness. Happiness has always been yours from the very beginning and always will be yours. You are the source of happiness.As of June 2006, Sukhbir Singh is an ordinary businessman. He does not consider himself as any kind of teacher or guru. Nor does he consider the message that he spreads as a teaching. All of the proceeds for his workshops are donated to charities for the purpose of uplifting people from suffering and bringing happiness to the world. His mission is to continue to live a fulfilling life by being of service to as many people as possible. For questions and further inquiries, feel free to contact him on sukhbir@lifeapps.com or suk_b@yahoo.com
Keyword : Happiness, Suffering, Buddhism, Dharma, Truth, Power, Prosperity, Love, Desire, Joy, Ecstacy, Bliss
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