Author : Dr. Gary S. Goodman
When you ask people why they want to study a martial art, you'll hear these typical replies:(1) A bully at school is pushing me around.(2) I'm afraid to go out at night.(3) I want to be able to defend myself.(4) I've seen it on TV and in the movies, and it looks really cool!(5) I want more self-confidence.But if you look closely at these reasons and others, that are tacit, unstated, you'll find that people are attracted to the martial arts because they're tired of being victimized by their own fears.If science could devise a pill that made people safely self-confident and fearless, martial arts schools and training halls would be emptied out, overnight.People aren't going to dojos because they're socially deprived and they're seeking a "band of brothers" with whom to hang out. They want to be comfortable in their own skin, to hang-in with themselves, peacefully and happily.How, then, does martial arts training help people to vanquish fear? This occurs in stages, actually:(1) The person trains and trains and doesn't quit. This teaches perseverance; something they thought they were lacking. With it, their fear of failure can disappear, because if they persist with anything, they'll succeed! (See my audio program published by Nightingale-Conant: "The Law of Large Numbers: How To Make Success Inevitable.")(2) They train and they hit bags and other people, under controlled circumstances. They let out their hostilities, safely, so their fear that they'll hurt others and, in turn, be punished, vanishes. They recognize their own potential for violence, and see that what they fear, outside, from others, is partly their own projection being mirrored back. This teaches them that overcoming fear must start with them, not by changing or controlling others.(3) They become physically competent, see that they can discharge deadly force, and probably prevail in any physical contest. They've experienced and survived pain and injuries. They're certified tough guys and gals. Once this really gets through their filters, and they believe it, they can see that they have very little to fear from other people. They probably can't be hurt; or if they are; they'll survive. So, what's left?(4) They start to work on their other neuroses and insecurities, such as procrastination, low self-esteem, self-pity, impatience, and other foibles.(5) Conquering these challenges, they can look back on all of the years invested in their martial arts training, appreciate their accomplishments and get on with whatever really matters, one thing at a time; without fear or worry.This is the evolution of a martial artist, one who appreciates at last, by conquering fear, we conquer all; most importantly, ourselves!Dr. Gary S. Goodman, President of Customersatisfaction.com, is a popular keynote speaker, management consultant, and seminar leader and the best-selling author of 12 books, including Reach Out & Sell Someone® and Monitoring, Measuring & Managing Customer Service, and the audio program, "The Law of Large Numbers: How To Make Success Inevitable," published by Nightingale-Conant. He is a frequent guest on radio and television, worldwide. A Ph.D. from USC's Annenberg School, a Loyola lawyer, and an MBA from the Peter F. Drucker School at Claremont Graduate University, Gary offers programs through UCLA Extension and numerous universities, trade associations, and other organizations in the United States and abroad. He holds the rank of Shodan, 1st Degree Black Belt in Kenpo Karate. He is headquartered in Glendale, California, and he can be reached at (818) 243-7338 or at: gary@customersatisfaction.com.
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